When To Comfort – and When Not To…
I’m a harmonizer. The folks at the office know me by this more than just about anything. I have a natural desire to care for folks, and walk with them in and through their struggles. This is a good thing. But, I am learning exactly how and when to use this aspect of God’s character for others.
For example, I’m naturally an empathetic soul. When someone is suffering, I want to reach out to them and do all I can to alleviate their pain. But, throughout Scripture we see that God shows us when to console and comfort…and when to allow others to sit in pain for a season.
Looking back over the last 33 years of my life, I see that the greatest catalyst of change in my actual behavior – and for my obedience to God – was when He let me suffer. The times that He didn’t take His pressing thumb off me, caused me to fall back in dependence and in love with Him again. Those moments that hurt, and He doesn’t immediately console me and rescue me “from” the angst, are the most obvious moments of life-transformation for me.
As a consoler, a comforter, a harmonizer, a care-giver, this is not natural for me to always flesh out in counseling/journeying with others. But, it’s absolutely vital to God’s sanctifying work in others and in us. Creating a refuge for people from the enemy and from the impacts of hardship is necessary. But creating a means of escape from conviction of sin is actually hurting the work of the Gospel in others.
This is definitely where the Spirit of God gives us wisdom to know what to say, or NOT to say, in each moment of need.
Great word!
I really needed to read this today. Thank you for posting it.
In al-anon we call it detach with love. Just as Jesus detaches with love and allows us to suffer the consequences of our own actions, only then can we learn. We are His children and as we have to allow our own children to learn from their mistakes, so does he. We have to do this with the people in our lives that we love and want to protect from themselves, but that is only enabling them to self-destruct. You can love someone to death. People do it all the time when dealing with drug and alcohol dependencies. I am learning to get out of God’s way. He can do a much better job of raising His children than I can. I am not that powerful. Let go, Let God. And God Bless!